I have my beta today. I did not do an HPT yesterday or today. My beta blood draw is in an hour. I started getting bad menstrual cramps last night and this morning, as this is when my period would be due if I wasn’t on progesterone. I can’t remember if I had this bad of cramping during either of my other transfers or my natural pregnancy, so I was googling up a storm in bed this morning. I decided to check in on the news instead, and that was when I found out.
Stephen Hawking died today at age 76.
I immediately started crying, because it reminded me of my own impending death. It reminded me why I am doing IVF. It reminded me that one day I will also get ALS (Lou Gehrig’s disease), and I doubt that I will be so lucky to live to be 76. My mom died at age 60. Her sister died at age 61. I have an aunt with the gene who has made it to 69 with no symptoms. I’ve read that in familiar cases, it generally comes a little earlier for the next generation. Stephen Hawking died, and I am reminded that there is no cure for ALS. Even if you are a brilliant, rich, white man, it will still take you.
Today I am reminded of death. Can I please be reminded of life?